Parenting Tip – What is the Secret Word?

How often as a parent have you said to your children “Don’t talk to Strangers” or “if someone wants you to go look or see their puppies – then r

un away” ?

The reason I am talking about this is because of two different conversations that I had this morning and there is a point to all of this…… The first conversation was with Sam McFarland on Facebook about abuse and as always conversations have a habit of taking on a life of their own as seen in this screenshot -   facebook conversation with Sam Mcfarland  

“the first day she was allowed to walk back from school alone – and lured her to the car by saying they had a shih tzu puppy….  

How do we help and teach our children to be safe in the midst of strangers and how do we get through to them that cute puppies or not …never to go with a stranger?

After doing a lot of reading

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of what others have said via blog posts and articles, I did find one post that was very good and quite realistic and that was from Ali Goldfield on her blog Therapy Stew. Ali made an important statement “Instead of “don’t talk to strangers,” it is strongly suggested that we teach children how to interact with strangers and how to watch out for dangerous adult behaviors.”

I agree that bubble wrapping our children is not the way keep them safe and I also agree with the different tips that Ali outlined, but I also found one parenting tip that is not being mentioned and that was something that Sam mentioned – “The Secret Word”

Now what is the secret word you ask?

The secret word was something that around 30 or so years ago that I was taught to use to help protect my daughters. What it was ..was a code word that only the children and parents knew. If someone approached a kid for any reason and did not know the code word ( or secret word) that child KNEW never to go with that adult and trust me it worked! I still remember implementing this idea into my family and we had fun coming up with a word that we all could remember and then making it work for us. I still remember the time when a friend of mine went to pick up my kids from school and they refused to get into the car with her, because she did not know the secret word. I found this very good video, that you as a parent can use to help teach this important concept to your children or to help you understand the concept yourself to pass on to your children.   Sometimes it is the simple ideas that work and the ones that need to be remembered, lets face it, parenting today is as challenging if not more so as it was when I was a parent of young children…. do you have a secret word?  













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11 Responses to “Parenting Tip – What is the Secret Word?”

  1. Hi Diane,

    Thanks so much for referencing my blog. It’s much appreciated. I also agree with Sam’s “Secret Word.” What a great way to ensure that our children are always aware of who they agree to go with. Not only is it a great safety mechanism, but as you mentioned, it can be a great way to get your family interacting and TALKING about how to stay safe. Thanks for your great post. I truly enjoyed reading it.

    • Diane says:

      You are very welcome Ali, you made another good point on your post and that is from a kids perception and dang it is true…if a kid meets a stranger a couple of them they are no longer a stranger – they are “known” at least on sight and that is when a situation can get very serious.

      I really want to thank you for coming in and giving your views and it is a pleasure to meet you…there is some very good information on Therapy Stew and highly recommend it to everyone

      Have a great day :-)

  2. SAM MCFARLAND says:

    an EXCELELNT post regarding this morning’s conversation. this was a very simple and necessary part of my daughter’s life at an early age.

    • Diane says:

      Thank you Sam :-) I feel that some of the so called “old” tricks and tips for parenting are still of great value and this one for sure needs to be revived. I notice that you have a surviving domestic abuse group, this would be a very needed tip to those parents who are going through a nasty custody/access battle and would help keep the child or children safe. Just food for thought…

  3. This news hit me particularly hard.. considering that I have a daughter Tori’s age (and 3 others older). I felt like even I had a victims statement to read to the court.. and even the judge’s statement recognized the lives of the community being changed forever (in this.. the lives of all who were touched by this tragedy)
    I hope to soon forget the names of her murderers.. leaving only her memory.. and a determination to do everything I can to make sure the message gets to kids and parents that will help prevent this from happening again.

    • Diane says:

      I have been pondering what I can say to you that would be of use as I can see only too clearly how upset you are.
      I feel that every person who took an interest in this terrible murder should feel some measure of horror to what happened not only to this little girl and her family, but also to make one ask the question – how can we as a society, as a family stop these terrible crimes from happening again.
      The reality is that there are very scary people walking the streets and it is up to us, the parents, the caregivers of the children, to make sure we do all we can to keep the children as safe as we can, without bubble wrapping them ( HT to Ali for that term)
      I am not going to say that the “secret word” is the total answer to the issue of kids being lured by puppies or other such things, but I will say that it is one tool, a very good tool by the way that will help keep the kids safe.
      Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and I hope that this post has helped you come up with a plan to help your children.

  4. Walt Webb says:

    A good article and you can never be too careful when it comes to educating your children. You must be diligent that they understand and why you are doing it. There are so many sick people out there

    • Diane says:

      Thanks Walt for coming in and giving your viewpoint. I agree there are far too many sick people in this world and we have to keep finding ways and means to keep the children safe. This idea is not a new one..the secret word has been around for a long time, its just that people dont talk about this idea too often.

  5. Craig says:

    Thank you for sharing this. I was always taught the “secret word” trick growing up, and my parents often reminded me to always ask for that word if someone I didn’t know told me to go with them.

    • Diane says:

      Thank you Craig for visiting and I am glad that you were kept safe as a child ^_^. It amazes me to be honest, how these “old” ideas have solid value and I hope that others will pass it on to their children. Have a great day!

  6. You have been nominated as a “Writer to Watch” and the Liebster Award. Read the details of my nomination here:

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